Self Esteem Archives - Page 4 of 7 - Kathleen Hassan

Confidence Tip: Avoid the Comparison Trap

Warning! Falling into the comparison trap can keep you stuck and trapped in a prison of your own making. Comparing yourself to others sets you up for a lifetime of lack. It is the energy of scarcity and will leave you always wanting more; never satisfied, never feeling good enough. Stop comparing your insides to someone else's outsides. You never know, the girl with the new Louis Vuitton bag might be dying inside. If someone has something or some quality that you admire or wish you had, instead of getting jealous simply say, "That's for me!" When you switch your energy from envy to intention, You become a magnet and actually attract more great things into your life. "Comparison is a thief of joy." ~Theodore Roosevelt

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:25:37-05:00 September 20th, 2010|

Confidence Tip: Practice Positive Self-Talk

Do you talk to yourself? If you’re sitting there wondering “Do I talk to myself?” Then the answer is, YES! You just did it! Pay attention to the messages you give to yourself and be your own BFF. Talk to yourself the way you wish others would speak to you. If you catch yourself saying something negative, consciously tell yourself to stop and then replace that thought with a more positive and empowering statement such as “I am enough - just the way I am” or “I matter,” “I am loved and lovable.” We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. You want love? Start loving yourself. Affirmations are positive statements in the present tense spoken as if they are already achieved. When practiced and repeated over time, these positive statements become new beliefs which effect our behavior and attitude and we then begin to [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:26:34-05:00 September 14th, 2010|

Confidence Tip: Just Breathe

Sometimes the simplest tool is the one that is most overlooked and underutilized. Give it a shot... what have you got to lose except all that stress??? Research has shown that 3 cleansing deep breaths turn on the relaxation response and turn off the flight or fight response. So when you're feeling stressed just remember to BREATHE... Inhale 1-2-3... hold... Exhale 1-2-3 and repeat. It's like sending a signal to your brain... it'...s OK... I'm safe and all is well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OECo7254jT8 Here are some of the benefits of deep breathing: Reduces stress Promotes better sleep Increases energy Quiets racing thoughts Relaxes muscles Releases endorphins - the feel good hormone Try to make conscious deep breathing a regular habit. You will become more mindful and present in your own life and you will develop the ability to access inner guidance and intuition while in that heightened relaxed state and that [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:27:26-05:00 September 13th, 2010|

Weighing In on HUGE

Have you seen ABC Family’s latest summer blockbuster, HUGE? It’s the story of a group of teens at a weight loss camp, otherwise known as fat camp. When I first heard about it, I was intrigued, skeptical and disgusted all at the same time. Another show focusing on what is wrong with teens today and yet another blatant example of the media exploiting social issues to their advantage. Due to a regular Monday night commitment, I haven’t been home to watch it, but as I said, I was intrigued, so I had been taping it. Last week I sat down to a HUGE marathon and have to say, not only was I pleasantly surprised, I actually loved it. HUGE is well written and the characters are engaging, interesting and so lovable - even though none of them would ever claim that to be true. There are so many layers [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:30:26-05:00 August 16th, 2010|

When the Bully is You!

And by you, I mean me. I’ve been procrastinating about writing this article for about a month now because it’s rather humbling to discover that after lecturing about self-esteem and empowerment to teen girls for over a decade that the bully was actually me. But after reading an article in the Boston Globe the other day about Phoebe Prince, a fifteen year old girl who committed suicide after being bullied at school by the so-called “mean girls,” I knew that the time had come to tell this story. I hope to shed a different light on the topic of girls and bullying in order to better understand both perspectives and to help heal both the bullies and the bullied. I’ve never been one to hop on the anti-bullying crusade because I have learned that whatever we push against, we actually bring more of the same back into our experience. In [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:36:10-05:00 January 29th, 2010|

Teen Halloween Alert: Scary Trick

Contemplating what to dress up as for Halloween? How about a lollipop? A recent ad for Ralph Lauren has sparked a huge controversy all over the internet. The image displays the already thin model, Philippa Hamilton wearing the latest of Ralph’s fall designer duds, but the photo has been digitally altered to the point where her waist is actually smaller than her own head! And yes, she actually looks like a human lollipop! Mothers scrambling to find the latest L'il Lollipop costume for their daughters! “NO! you say, “Not Ralph too?” Yup – even Ralph. But wait, it gets worse, Ralph actually sicked his lawyers on the sites that first commented on this travesty. The blog Boing Boing, who was the first to bring this to light received copyright infringement violation notifications – but would not back down. Boing Boing editor, Cory Docktorow wrote “So, to Ralph Lauren, GreenbergTraurig, [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:50:20-05:00 October 14th, 2009|

The Quest for the Perfect Breasts

It’s October and time again for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am all for finding a cure for breast cancer and any kind of cancer for that matter, but what I am not all for is focusing on the disease itself. The Law of Attraction states that whatever you focus your attention upon is returned to you multiplied. So if that is true, why on Earth would we want to set aside a whole month placing all of our focus on the disease of breast cancer? (But no, if you focus on that picture above, you will not grow bigger boobs – that’s not how the Law of Attraction works!!) So I’m proposing “Love Your Boobs Month!” As a matter of fact, another teen empowerment specialist, Jess Weiner just wrote a fabulous article this month in Seventeen Magazine about Making Peace with Your Boobs! (Great minds think alike apparently!!) [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:50:41-05:00 October 7th, 2009|

Teen Girls: Making the List

Last week at New Jersey’s top-ranked Milburn High School, senior “it” girls circulated their annual “Slut List” of incoming freshman girls. A dozen or more names are written on a piece of notebook paper along with vulgar descriptions and are copied and circulated around the school. Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy One might assume that this is just another awful example of girl bullying, but in this case, you’d be wrong. According to William Miron, the principal of Milburn High, this has been going on for a decade and said “We’ve had girls obsessed that their names are on it, and girls who were upset that they didn’t make the list.” That’s right, some girls actually are disappointed if they don’t make the list! Is this really what girl power is all about? Seriously? As a Confidence Coach, I help girls learn [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:51:47-05:00 September 29th, 2009|

Back to School Self-Esteem Check Up

New clothes… check. School supplies… check. New shoes… check. It’s that time again! Some kids are nervous, others are excited and just about every parent is ecstatic because it feels so good to get back to a schedule, have some alone time and above all know where your kids are, that they are safe and hopefully they are learning. Lots of preparation goes into gearing up for a new school year. Athletes are required to have a physical check up before playing any sports. But what about a self-esteem check up? How we feel about ourselves as we enter into any new situation will have a dramatic effect on whether we succeed or fail. So how does one go about this type of self-esteem check up? First we have to know what self-esteem is all about. There are two components that form a person’s self-esteem: competence and worthiness. Competence [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T14:53:36-05:00 August 31st, 2009|

Teen Girl With the Weight of the World on Her Shoulders

A Response to Jayleene what can you do when the world’s weight is on your sholders? i feel like i might just break down completely…and then end up Back in Rehab..but instead of outpatient in will be Inpatient…my problem is something that you spoke about when you came to my school..thou it’s not somthing you talked alot about..i guess it’s hard for people to understand what i do..and i don’t feel like saying cause i get judged. or called crazy. so whatever. but i guess i just need help..i need to know what to do so i can help myself..to stop my hurting. Hi Jayleene – thank you so much for reaching out to me. That is a HUGE accomplishment and it is like your soul is tugging on your sleeve trying to get your attention to wake up and discover your true power. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing [...]

By Kathleen| 2009-04-09T10:42:19-05:00 April 9th, 2009|