Where's the Freaking Rainbow: Getting Through the Storms of Life

I got a message yesterday from a “friend” and he wrote “I see from Facebook you are doing well and are happy. That’s so great.” I responded, “Don’t believe everything you see on FB!” For the most part, I am doing great and life is good. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t go through my storms. I have done so much inner work to be where I am today, but every now and then, more comes up to be healed. My first response to that is “Are you shitting me? I’m fifty-freaking-seven years old and I still have work to do?” Although I’ve heard it a million times before (and have come to hate this expression); healing and awakening is like peeling the layers of an onion. Love it or hate it, it still rings true and can be helpful in understanding each new level. If our power was revealed to us all at once, we would probably have to be locked up in a mental ward for circuitry overload and a fried motherboard. Over the past few months, a new layer of that stupid onion has been ripped away and has left me feeling raw and vulnerable. I never dreamed that writing my book would bring up so much stuff to be healed. My ego wants to push it all down and just keep going, pretending that everything is AOK and letting people only see what I want them to see. The truth is everything really is great – even in the midst of a storm. Everything that is happening is so necessary to finally let go of the mask of perfection and just show up in the world as the real me; with sadness, set backs and storms – just like everybody else. A large part of my life was spent protecting myself from pain by running away and numbing out. In order to step into my true authentic self, I need to stop avoiding it and go within and feel it all with acceptance, love and compassion. So how ’bout you? It doesn’t matter what the storm/story looks like, whether it’s been brewing for a lifetime or came upon you in a sudden white squall. The fact of the matter is – the solution is always a spiritual one. I don’t mean religious – I mean spiritual. Within that word is the word “ritual” and the more we practice these healing rituals on a regular basis, the faster the storm passes and we can once again be open to our internal guidance for our next right step. In doing so, we open ourselves up to our truth and inner light. That is when we get to see the rainbow – AFTER the storm!!

Here are some rituals that have helped me and countless others weather the storms of life and see the rainbow:

Slow down: Rushing from one activity to the other without checking in to what’s really going on inside is just as addicting and mind numbing as alcohol and drugs. Watching endless reruns of Dance Moms or consuming fistfuls of M&M’s is not going to make the storm pass any quicker either. Slowing down will help you watch what you feed your body and your mind. We really are what we eat/consume. Slow down and be mindful of everything you put into your body, mind and spirit. Acceptance: In 12 step recovery programs there is a prayer that says “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.” We cannot change the past and learning to accept things just the way we are is a way to release the struggle and just be with what is. It seems ridiculous and counter-intutive and our culture encourages and often demands multi-tasking and pushing through, but it really works. Let go: The moment we surrender our thoughts and judgments about how we think things should be and just let go, the floodgates to unlimited possibilities open up. This is the place where miracles happen. Be willing not to know and let go. Each time we do this, we strengthen our trust muscles, we begin to rely on a power greater than ourselves and we come to believe that everything really is going to be OK. Be patient: Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you are going through your storm. If you try to push through or rush the process, you are only prolonging the future suffering and it will come back again and again until you finally deal with it. Don’t isolate: You don’t have to go it alone and nor should you. You can’t heal a sick mind with the same sick mind. God works through people and it is only through our interaction with others that we get to see the reflection of our light within them. Even though sheet therapy is very appealing and it’s so much easier to just crawl under the covers when we’re feeling uncomfortable, letting others see the real you is not only incredibly liberating, but offers others the opportunity to be helpful. Let go of the idea of being a burden to others and offer them a gift of being helpful. I promise, they will feel all warm and fuzzy inside and you are a step closer to seeing your own rainbow.