Certainly by now we have all heard the devastating news of the horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in CT. A 20 year old male, dressed in a bullet-proof vest and armed with assault weapons took the lives of 26 people, 6 adults and 20 children under the age of 8 before killing himself.
I first read about the incident on Facebook and like most people, have thought of little else since as we mourn the loss of such young lives cut short in such a senseless act of violence. With literally several hundred girls in my FB newsfeed, I have been observing the fallout and reaction – especially by those teen girls. With the exception of a handful of heartfelt posts by girls who are in touch with their feelings and emotions, the majority of girls’ posts since Friday showed little reaction, with the occasional “like” of a tribute picture.
One girl wrote “Somebody gotta do something” and I responded, “Something, yes. But that somebody is YOU!” She posted back, “I try my best to be positive, but I can’t do it all alone.” She’s right and many girls are afraid to take on leadership roles for fear of being judged or labeled “uncool.” They are more concerned about fitting in – not standing out.
Despite the massive effort being put into anti-bullying campaigns, teens are tuning out the message. Despite media literacy programs, our girls are still being bombarded with negative media messages that promote the early and fast sexualization of young women. They live in a world of self-obsession, constantly comparing themselves and desperately trying to conform to society’s standards. They have become desensitized to sex and violence to the point where they can’t seem to take it in and feel it or it just might break them to bits.
I believe with all my heart that young women have the power to heal the world, but only if we help them access that place within themselves that knows the truth. We need to teach them new strategies for great self-esteem, to unlock their power to love and to empower them to emerge as confident leaders.
Engage our Girls
As parents and advocates of teen girls, we must take this opportunity to talk to young women about their feelings about this terrible tragedy. Don’t let them go back to “normal” too quickly. Engage them in the discussion and use every issue that’s being discussed in the wake of the tragedy – even the most right-wing, straw-grasping concepts such as saying the shooting of young innocent children is the same thing as abortion.
Ask your daughter what she thinks:
- Does she think violent video games are a factor in school shootings
- What about gun control and stricter laws on owning weapons
- What she thinks about how women are portrayed in the media and in films
Then ask your daughter what she feels:
- Is she scared to go to school?
- Are her friends talking about it?
- Has she taken the time to really cry and mourn the loss of innocent lives?
- Can she even imagine what those parents are feeling when they see their kindergartener’s artwork on the fridge?
It may seem strange to purposely make her feel such scary feelings. But if we don’t take the time to really feel them, then they will just be buried right along side of the other ones she’s hidden in there: the feelings of not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, sexy enough, talented enough. One day when she can’t hold them down any longer, she’s going to explode – either in a fit of anger or in an act of rebellion. That’s when someone else’s power will consume her, or she’ll seek relief in alcohol and drugs or try to control the only thing she can – the amount of food she consumes.
The world doesn’t need another girl with an eating disorder or an addiction, or another mean girl looking to get her sense of power by bullying someone else, or another pregnant teen looking for her baby daddy to love her. The world doesn’t need more followers who are trying to fit in. The world needs strong, confident leaders who inspire others to rally for goodness and kindness. What the world needs is for our young women to find their voice and power and stand up and scream “Enough!”
For those who live by faith, there is the assurance that God will use everything to awaken us to the truth. If that is the case, then God help us all to awaken and may He use this to help our young women tap into their power and strength to do what needs to be done to bring love and forgiveness to the world.
If you happen to be one of those young women and feeling like the burden is just too much to carry alone – take strength in knowing that you are never alone. You are being supported and guided every step of the way and I am right here cheering you on.
You may not be able to give everything that the world needs. But the world needs everything you have to give.
