The Love You Need

I can still remember the year my mother forgot to buy my Valentine’s cards for the class. I stayed up late to make my own out of pink and red construction paper and then attempted to decorate a Kleenex box with paper doilies. I walked into school with a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat knowing full well that my efforts at cutting and pasting would pale in comparison to everyone else’s store-bought heart-shaped cards with adorable sayings like “puppy love” and “hey cutie pie.” To this day I can remember those feelings of being less than and just wanting to be liked and noticed. Valentine’s Day, a day in February that is supposed to represent love, for many represents the exact opposite. It’s actually been dubbed “Singles Awareness Day” by those who have been made to feel less than because they don’t have “that special someone” to give or receive a Valentine. The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. That’s a lot of love. So where is the love? Many of today’s teens are struggling with the exact same emotions of wanting to be liked and noticed but if you don’t happen to be one of those lucky billion who actually receive one of those “Be Mine Valentine” messages this year, it can feel pretty crummy. But love is not an emotion to be reserved for one day out of the year, nor is it something to be rationed out only to certain people. Want to be and feel a part of this billion dollar love fest? Here are a few strategies to be your own Valentine. Become attractive! Start treating yourself the way you want that someone special to treat you. As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” Attracting love into your life starts by developing the attraction factor from the inside out. Self-confidence is sexy because when you look like you don’t need ‘em is when they come flocking to you! Rid yourself of jealousy. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and start appreciating the gifts in your life. Jealousy is one of the lowest and most negative energies and actually attracts more scarcity and lack back to you. Gratitude, along with joy and love is the highest frequency and the most powerful energy on Earth and being in that state attracts more love back to you. Learn to love and accept yourself – just the way you are. Knowing that you’re worthy and deserving of only the best is an important part of building your own self-esteem. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves and unconditional love has to begin with you through self-love. One of the most famous quotes about self-love is by Marianne Williamson from her book, A Return to Love…”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.” This year pay less attention to the whole “Be Mine” frenzy and focus all your efforts to “Be YOU.” Who are you? You are one in a billion and there is no one quite like you – Valentine!