- Analyze the messages you give to yourself. Are they encouraging? If you find yourself saying something negative, such as “I’m such a loser,” consciously tell yourself to stop. Use positive self-talk and replace negative statements with positive affirmations, such as; “I am enough – just the way I am, I matter, I am loved and loveable.” We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. You want love? Start loving yourself.
- Avoid the comparison trap. Stop comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides. You never know, the girl with the brand new Louis Vuitton bag might be dying inside. If someone has something that you wish you had, instead of being jealous, add it to your wish list and say “That’s for me!” When you shift your energy from jealousy to intention, you become a magnet and actually attract more great things into your life.
- Spend as much time on the inside as you do on the outside. Shift your attention within and connect to your inner power. Check in often during the day and notice how you’re feeling. Do some deep breathing exercises, write in a journal and feel what it feels like to just be. When you feel good, you look good – no matter what you’re wearing.
Self-Esteem is Priceless
The Only Thing You Can’t Get at the Mall is the Most Important Thing of All
The words back to school conjure up so many mixed emotions for parents and teens. The office supply superstore commercial portrays parents skipping up and down the aisles filling their baskets with pens and notebooks while “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” blares through store. But for teens, those words can often evoke a sense of fear and insecurity as they scurry to make sure they have the right stuff in order to be all that.
The world-wide credit card company ad might go something like this…
Abercrombie & Fitch jeans; $89.50, Nike Air Max sneakers; $150.00, the new LG Chocolate slide phone; $149.98, Coach Signature Soho bag; $218.00…
Feeling as good on the inside as you’re trying to look on the outside? Priceless!
Advertisers spend billions of dollars marketing to teens to convince you that you’re not enough without their products – and it’s working. According to the US Bureau of Statistics, there are approximately 24.3 million teenagers aged 12-17 in the United States and that age demographic spends approximately $120 billion dollars each year! Add in cradle-to-grave brand loyalty campaigns and kids from infants to teens influence about $600 billion in household spending annually.
Well-meaning parents only want what’s best for their kids. But unfortunately trying to buy self-esteem always backfires and only creates a sense of entitlement rather than empowerment. MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen” takes the old adage “keeping up with the Joneses” to a whole new stratosphere and has created a culture of kids “jonesing” for the next best thing to make them feel OK.
Don’t get me wrong, I happen to love stuff. There is nothing wrong with having great shoes to go with that perfect outfit, or living in a beautiful home or driving a spiffy new sports car. It’s just that when we get our sense of self from stuff, it will never be enough.
When I ask teens what they want, they initially respond with a list of stuff. When I ask them to write down what they want, they open up more and the answers get more specific; getting good grades, having great friends and getting into a good college. But when I dig deeper and ask, “What do you really want?” the underlying desire of every teen in the world is “I want to be confident. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to be loved for being me – just the way I am.” This is the stuff that money can’t buy and needs to be cultivated from within.
The solution? Take responsibility for consciously developing your own self-esteem. This applies to both parents and teens because parents see their kids from their own perspective based on their own sense of self.
Here are three suggestions on how to raise your own self-esteem:
About the Author: Kathleen
