My Purple Monkey – The Ravages of Low Self-Esteem

I have a purple monkey That sits upon my back Sometimes I call him Worry or Fear Sometimes he goes by Lack His presence is addictive Like booze or heroin I’m always looking outside myself When I should be looking in At first it was no big deal Just a way to get attention By putting myself down first I’d beat others with that intention To the world he is invisible Although they probably know he’s there No amount of jewelry or make-up hide him Not even ribbons in my hair To believe his lies is to feed him And every day he grows This weight on my shoulders is holding me back I hurt down to my toes This negative attitude is now a habit How can I put him down? Start my looking in the mirror And smile instead of frown It takes baby steps and courage To send him on his way So when he rears his ugly head Just say “No thanks, not today!” Eventually he’ll get hungry And look for someone else But better them than me I say I’ve got better plans for myself ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A MONKEY ON ONE’S BACK: Slang. (Random House Unabridged Dictionary) a) an addiction to a drug or drugs; narcotic dependency. b) an enduring and often vexing habit or urge. c) a burdensome problem, situation, or responsibility; personal affliction or hindrance ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MONKEY ON ONE’S BACK: (American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms) 1. drug addiction, as in ‘He’d had a monkey on his back for at least two years.’ [Slang; first half of 1900’s] 2. a vexing problem or burden, as in ‘This project has proved to be a monkey on my back – there seems to be no end to it.’ Both usages allude to being unable to shake the animal from one’s back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HAVE A MONKEY ON ONE’S BACK: (Cassell’s Dictionary of Slang) phrase [mid-19th century] to be angry phrase [1940’s (still in use)] to be addicted to narcotics, especially heroin. [etymology unknown; the image is of a monkey, clawing at the sufferer ] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This past summer, while working on my empowerment program for youth, I tried to think of a new way to demonstrate just how addicting negative thinking can be. I thought about the phrase “I’ve got a monkey on my back” and how the same thing can be said about people who allow their minds to be lazy and who don’t even try to be positive. I then decided that I would get a stuffed monkey to show kids what having a monkey on your back actually looks like and how you carry it around with you all the time and cannot seem to shake him off. Well, two days later, my sister came over with her daughter Katherine, who was five years old and turning six within the next week. She walked in the door carrying a purple stuffed monkey and said “Here Auntie, I brought this for you!” I nearly fell on the floor in amazement. I told Katherine that only two days before I had said that I wanted a stuffed monkey for my speeches to kids. She looked at me with a sort of blank stare and only then did I realize that she was giving me a present so that I would remember to get her a present next week for her birthday. But at the same time, I understood that on a subconscious soul level that it was not a coincidence and that somehow her little spirit picked up on that energy and grabbed that monkey on the way out the door to visit me. To me, this is yet another demonstration of the power of our thoughts. What you think about becomes your reality. If you think that life sucks, unfortunately that is exactly what you will attract more of. That doesn’t mean that life isn’t difficult or that sometimes we are not sad or angry, but what it does mean is that we don’t have to stay stuck there. The truly successful people in this world are those who believe that there is something inside of themselves that is superior to any circumstances. The ones who dare to feel their feelings and then let them go, the ones who choose to be happy despite the situation – to me, those are the true heroes and heroines. Happiness is a choice, and I choose to be happy. As a result, my life just keeps getting better and better and I want the same thing for you. However, I read a quote the other day that said “You cannot want more for someone than they want for themselves.” Sometimes I think I do want more for the youth of today than they want for themselves or for the world. But that doesn’t mean I am going to give up or stop trying to inspire today’s youth to become the great leaders of our world. So put down that monkey! Stand tall and proud and dare to become the extraordinary person you were born to be. The world is waiting for you!