Blog - Page 4 of 18 - Kathleen Hassan | Confidence Coach

Taking the Bite Out of “The Bitch”

What comes to mind when you hear the word “bitch?” The “b word” has so much negative connotation to it and our fear of being labeled as such often keeps us toeing the line and squashing our thoughts, voices and opinions. Last night I was working with a client who is a 2nd grade teacher and currently has a student teacher in her classroom. My client was describing all the ways that this neophyte was not performing up to expectations or the standards that she has set for herself and her classroom. But rather than being strong and assertive, she had slipped into a more passive-aggressive role and was allowing the performance of this student teacher to totally affect the mood and energy of the classroom. When I asked what was the block that was preventing her from being direct and laying it on the line for this young woman, [...]

By Kathleen| 2013-10-30T18:45:17+00:00 October 30th, 2013|

FYI Moms: #Molly is NOT Your Daughter’s New BFF!

As I was preparing for an upcoming talk on Parenting Teen Girls in a Digital World, I came across this statistic: 71% of teens say they hide their online activity from their parents (Sass, 2012). I would venture a guess that the number is probably much higher than this study shows. Yet, from what I've seen on Twitter and other social media sites, many teens don't seem to be hiding their posts about #Molly - often bragging about it. And in case you didn't know already, #Molly is not your daughter's new BFF or your son's girlfriend either. Molly is party drug that is sweeping the nation - the powder or crystal form of MDMA, the chemical used in Ecstasy, and has been a popular drug at music festivals this year, CNN reports. I had never even heard of this drug until recently, but now I see it popping up [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:41:53+00:00 September 13th, 2013|

Mothers and Daughters: What Happened to My Little Girl?

In my 15 plus years of working with girls and coaching mothers and daughters, I have observed, and have seen it played out over and over again, this deep desire to be acknowledged and to be heard. This morning, while listening to Deepak Chopra's 21 day Meditation Challenge, Oprah, in her introduction to the meditation, gave her #! lesson that she has learned in life. I hit the pause button, grabbed my pen and jotted down her quote (below) because when I heard it, I knew it in my core to be the truth. I started thinking about all the mothers and daughters that I've coached over the years, and felt a nudge from the Universe to write about this deep need to be noticed and appreciated. “If there is one lesson I have to say I’ve learned during my time on this planet it is this: the number one [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:43:00+00:00 August 18th, 2013|

Camera Shy: Don’t Look At Me vs. Selfies: Like Me

Let's face it. We live in a mixed up world of extremes. We want to stand out and fit in. We want to be part of the crowd and yet we isolate and feel all alone. We want to be loved and yet we hate ourselves. We yell, "Don't look at me" and we post selfies all over social media and encourage the world to "like" us, subscribe and share. All of this can reek havoc on self-esteem and can cause all kinds of issues that stem from getting validation externally instead of finding power and worth from within. Self-esteem is basically how we perceive ourselves. It is based on our self-worth, competency or how well we achieve. In part, we get a sense of how successful, talented and proficient we are by comparing ourselves to others. In today’s digital world, the playground on which we make that comparison is [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:45:50+00:00 August 10th, 2013|

Ask Kat: Can Anybody Hear Me?

I feel like I'm standing in a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up..but that's only because nobody cares unless you have extraordinary beauty or you're famous:/ Thx for listening I hear you. I have felt this way many times. I think we all have. Even the so-called extraordinary beauties and celebrities pay publicists a ton of money to keep their name and face out there. It's a noisy world filled with so many people posting and tweeting and desperately trying to be "somebody" and be the next big thing. Our culture and society places so much value on celebrity and fame. However, we can focus on that and feel miserable - OR - we can turn our attention inward and get our sense of self from the Source of all love and power. That is the truth and when you take [...]

By Kathleen| 2013-08-07T08:41:55+00:00 August 7th, 2013|

Asking the Right Questions

Many years ago, at the beginning of my speaking career, I created and delivered a workshop on creativity at a Toastmasters International Conference. In my research on the topic, I read a book called Five Star Mind by Tom Wujek, and it talked about the power of questions to give your mind focus. This story is an excerpt from the book: When the Rembrandt painting "The Night Watch" was restored and returned to Amsterdam's Rijksmuseum, the curators performed a simple yet remarkable experiment. They asked visitors to submit questions about the painting. The curators then prepared answers to over fifty questions according to popularity... In a room next to the gallery which held the painting, the curators papered the walls with these questions (and answers). Visitors had to pass through this room before entering the gallery. The curious outcome was that the average length of time people spent viewing the [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:48:03+00:00 August 5th, 2013|

Ask Kat: Does “Fake It Till You Make It” Work?

I received an email the other day from a girl who wrote: Dear Kathleen, I love your YouTube channel and all your videos about how to be more confident. I’ve never really been very confident and want to know if you think “fake it till you make it” really works? thx Sara Dear Sara, Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. I’m so glad my videos have helped you and that is a great question. I’ve never liked the expression “fake it till you make it” because I never want to encourage anyone to be fake - ever. I’m all about being who you really are and daring to express your thoughts and feelings even when they’re messy. This can be especially challenging if it goes against the “norm” and what everyone else is doing, but that's what builds character and what makes you - [...]

By Kathleen| 2013-07-22T20:56:53+00:00 July 22nd, 2013|

Crawling to the Finish Line: I think I can… I think I can

I am so close. I can see the ribbon. You might imagine that I'd be sprinting full on with my goal in sight. I am almost finished writing my book. And I am crawling to the finish line. Since gearing up to come back to Boston for the summer, I have come up with a million excuses why I haven't been able to write. First it was closing up my condo in Naples. Next, figuring out what to clothes to pack for an entire summer (I kid you not, this kept me up several nights!) Arranging to have my car shipped up here was also on my to do list - I mean what's the point of driving a BMW convertible in Florida all winter if not to show off to all your friends up North in the summah? Then making the move up here and getting settled into a [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:51:01+00:00 July 12th, 2013|

Where’s the Freaking Rainbow: Getting Through the Storms of Life

I got a message yesterday from a "friend" and he wrote "I see from Facebook you are doing well and are happy. That's so great." I responded, "Don't believe everything you see on FB!" For the most part, I am doing great and life is good. However, that doesn't mean that I don't go through my storms. I have done so much inner work to be where I am today, but every now and then, more comes up to be healed. My first response to that is "Are you shitting me? I'm fifty-freaking-seven years old and I still have work to do?" Although I've heard it a million times before (and have come to hate this expression); healing and awakening is like peeling the layers of an onion. Love it or hate it, it still rings true and can be helpful in understanding each new level. If our power was [...]

By Kathleen| 2013-06-27T22:07:39+00:00 June 27th, 2013|

All the Books I’ve Never Written

I have started and then stopped writing more books than I can count. Years ago, I was a member of the National Speakers Association and some of my speaker friends used to tease me and say “Why don’t you write a book called All the Books I’ve Never Written?” At one particular NSA meeting, the topic was on book writing. After raising my hand and sharing the fact that my problem was that I just had too many ideas and titles in my head, the woman sitting next to me, passed me a note that said “No, your problem is that you’re afraid of letting people see the real you.” “What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.” ~ Muriel Rukeyser I’m sorry in advance if I split the world wide open, but here goes nothin’... Seeing the Real Me I’m [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:52:56+00:00 May 7th, 2013|