I received an email the other day from a girl who wrote:
Dear Kathleen, I love your YouTube channel and all your videos about how to be more confident. I’ve never really been very confident and want to know if you think “fake it till you make it” really works?
thx Sara
Dear Sara,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. I’m so glad my videos have helped you and that is a great question.
I’ve never liked the expression “fake it till you make it” because I never want to encourage anyone to be fake – ever. I’m all about being who you really are and daring to express your thoughts and feelings even when they’re messy. This can be especially challenging if it goes against the “norm” and what everyone else is doing, but that’s what builds character and what makes you – YOU!
Trying too hard to get others to “like” us is exhausting and it leaves us even less confident because by “faking” it, we never really know what it feels like to be authentic. If we keep changing our thoughts and opinions in order to fit in, we will never stand out.
If you live your life trying to please others, half the people will like you and half won’t. And if you live your life according to your own truth, half the people will like you and half won’t. ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The first time I read that quote, suddenly the question was no longer “how do I get people to like me?” but “which half do I want as my friends?” What kind of people are in your life, the ones who like you for you, or the ones who like you because you’re pretending to be who you think they want you to be?
Instead of faking and being someone that you’re not, it may be helpful to try this instead:
Acting As If
You are more powerful than you can even imagine. You are literally creating your tomorrow by the thoughts you think today. Our thoughts and emotions are summoning the same thing back to us. When we fake it, we are sending out thoughts of fear, unworthiness and feelings of not being good enough. But when we “act as if” it is like we’re playing make believe and stepping into all of our glory and experiencing how good it feels to be who we were born to be.
In other words, when we “act as if” we are getting into the feelings and emotions of our best and highest self. This is the part of you that knows the truth.
So how would it feel like to act as if you were confident, happy, popular? Take a few moments and really feel it. It feels like love, doesn’t it? And that is EXACTLY what you are. You are LOVE!
A fake is something that is not genuine. But YOU are the real thing! YOU were created in the image and likeness of God… and God don’t make junk. Try acting that way today!
