Mindfulness: You have to pay attention to your own thoughts in order to change them

“If you always think what you’ve always thought… then you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” ~ Kathleen Hassan We’ve all heard it said, “change your thoughts, change your life.” But you cannot possibly change your thoughts if you’re not even aware of what is going on beneath the surface. There is a HUGE difference between being mindful and having your mind full. In our culture of “bigger, better, faster, more” and striving to get ahead, most of us are not even aware of just how full our mind can be with hidden beliefs that govern our lives without our knowing or consent. Just this week alone, I had 3 coaching clients who were facing a particular challenge. Each of them were entirely different scenarios, yet all of them found resolution by the same methodology when I asked them this simple question “So what does that mean?” Every time they would respond with what that meant, I would ask it again. Each time they went deeper and deeper to discovering the underlying fear at the bottom of it and all of them were totally unaware that there were so many negative, energy sucking beliefs that were controlling their decisions and actions. Being mindful and daring to go deeper in your awareness has the power to set you free from the bondage of self. Here’s an example: Client: C Me: K C: I haven’t been walking regularly K: So what does that mean? C: It means that I’m sitting on my ass. K: So, what does it mean if you’re sitting on your ass? C: It means I’m going to get fat. K: What does it mean if you get fat? C: It means I’m not attractive. K: What does it mean if you’re not attractive? C: It means that no one will want me? K: And what does it mean if no one will want you? C: It means that I’ll be alone. So from inquiring about a walking program, deep below the surface was a fear about being completely alone. And negative motivation is NEVER effective in getting what we want. So naturally the walking program is going to be thwarted! Another example from a teen client who avoids conflict at all costs: C: I don’t like disagreeing and not seeing eye to eye K: What does it mean if you don’t see eye to eye with someone? C: It could mean that the other person will be mad at me K: What does it mean if the other person is mad at you? C: It means I’m doing something wrong K: What does it mean if you do something wrong? C: It means I’ll be even more self-conscious and insecure K: What does it mean if you’re more self-conscious and insecure? C: Other people won’t like me K: What does it mean of others won’t like you? C: I’ll be all alone and lonely Until we take the time to really find out what is going on beneath the surface, we will never dare to speak up or go for what we really want in life. How do you find your voice if you think that in expressing your truth, you will wind up completely alone? Mindfulness then is an attentive awareness of being here now in the present moment. Mindfulness in its most simplistic form would sound something like this, “I know I’m breathing in… I know I’m breathing out.” Just that small act can help to center and ground you in the here and now. When we are centered and grounded, we become open to receive divine guidance and intuitive thoughts or nudges that lead us in the right direction. When we are rigid and defensive, we block the flow of Universal Knowledge and it cannot get through. In the Realm of Knowledge, there’s what you know you know, what you know you don’t know – and then there’s this entire realm of knowledge that you don’t even know you don’t even know – and when you learn how to tap into that realm – every answer to every challenge will be available to you. Take 5 minutes every single day to quiet your mind… to still the chatter and to silence the noise of the world. There are just so many distractions in the world today and all of them are vying for our attention and all of them are feeding our minds and we begin to operate on programs that we’re not even aware of. GIGO – Garbage In… Garbage Out Fill your mind with the good stuff. Take time every day to connect with the Source of all energy, power, love… call it God, The Universe, your Higher Power or your Highest Self. Whatever you call it – there is a power and a flow to life that will carry you and guide you every step of the way. I’m not talking about Religion… I’m talking about Spirituality – connecting to that spirit within you. Within the word Spiritual is the word Ritual – committing to a new program – a new way of life – committing to train your mind to wake up to your power and to connect with the truth – the source of all love and power. Jesus said in His Sermon on the Mount, “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.” He taught us how to think. He taught that the thoughts that occupy our mind, are molding our destiny; in fact, the truth is that the whole of life’s experience is but the outer expression of inner thought. Buddha said “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind.” Do you have to do this? Only if you want to take charge of your own life. Otherwise, you’ll allow your life and mind to be controlled and run by the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee – that incessant chatter in your mind that operates on fear and unworthiness, that strives and connives to get your share and looks at everything as unfair and will try to convince you that you will be all alone. You must do the things today that others will never do in order to have the things tomorrow that others will never have. And by things, I mean those things that money can’t buy – inner peace, joy, feeling comfortable in your own skin and knowing that you are loved, loveable and that who you are makes a difference in the world. Mindfulness therefore is neither “new age” nor “woo woo” – it is a path to awakening to the truth of who you really are. And who you are is MAGNIFICENT!! I believe it is imperative to teach teen girls how to find their power within. Our girls are bombarded every single minute of every single day with negative images and media messages that are trying to convince them – brainwash them that they are not good enough and that attempt to convince all of us that the answers we seek are “out there.” We measure our self-worth and self-esteem by our external trappings of supposed success: looks, clothes, jobs, titles, weight and income and no matter how much we strive to get more “stuff” we still aren’t happy and never feel good enough. Within each of us lies the seeds of unlimited potential and a source of strength and power that can handle any challenge. Girls have the power to change the world and we’ve never needed the female energy of love and compassion more in our world. The greatest gift we can give to our girls is not to teach them what to think – but how to think. That is my mission and I welcome your comments and support. If you’d like to schedule a complimentary coaching session for you or your daughter to explore the possibilities towards a new sense of confidence, go to my coaching page and scroll down to the bottom and fill out the form. I will contact you with some available days and times and we can go from there! It would be an honor and privilege to partner with you on your amazing journey.