Parenting Archives - Kathleen Hassan

Create Dangerously: As If Someone’s Life Depends On It

The other day on Facebook I read the transcript of a speech delivered by a girl from York PA. Her name is her name is Devon Hornberger and she gave the Valedictorian Commencement Address at her high school graduation ceremony. I was blown away by her speech that began by recounting the abduction of 276 girls from their dormitories in Chibok, Nigeria. They were kidnapped because their abductors believe that girls should not be educated. Her message to her fellow classmates was about the privilege of their education and how young people around the world are risking their lives for that same right. In her speech, she also sited a quote by Edwidge Danicat, an award-winning Haitian-American author: “Create dangerously, for people who read dangerously. This is what I’ve always thought it meant to be a writer. Writing, knowing in part that no matter how trivial your words may seem, [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T11:44:34-05:00 June 2nd, 2016|

One Mother’s Advice is the Answer to ALL Your Problems

The Monday morning after Mother's Day I crawled into yoga with an emotional hangover. It had been a long trying day and I was ready to put it behind me. “Hey Kat… How was your Mother’s Day?” asked Laurie, my yoga instructor. “Ugh,” was about all I could muster. After my less than enthusiastic response, Laurie moved on to the two women on the mats next to me — a mother and daughter who were taking the class together. “So how was your Mother’s Day?” she inquired. In unison, they both raved about what a wonderful day it was. Four generations had gathered together to celebrate and the grandmother was 92 and still going strong. I turned to both of them, bowed and jokingly said, “Namaste Bitches!” My own mother died when I was sixteen so Mother’s Day has always been a little tough. But this year, my sons were [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T11:45:46-05:00 May 18th, 2016|

Mommy, I found your music box!

Happy Mother's Day! The word mother conjures up a vast array of reactions and emotions. For some, mother is synonomous with nurturing and uncondional love and for others (like me) the very mention of that word stirs up a deep longing for what we never got. One thing is certain, the relationship we have (or had) with our mothers has more than any other, shaped us into who we are today and affects every other relationship we have - most importantly - the one we have with ourselves. I never really understood my mother and she died when I was sixteen - long before I had enough life experience or insight to be able to see things from her perspective. But this past year I received a gift - a miracle that was 48 years in the making. We often think of miracles as something huge that happens to us, that is [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:23:14-05:00 May 9th, 2014|

Raising Teen Girls in a Social Media World

Social media is everywhere and a huge part of how teens communicate. By the time you finish reading this article, how likely are you to have received a text from your teen? A 2012 Common Sense Media study found that 75 percent of teens have a profile on a social networking site like Facebook; 68 percent text every day and 23 percent use at least two types of social media every day. Those are some pretty significant statistics. But just because it’s common, doesn’t mean it’s good. The same study found that: 57 percent of girls sometimes feel left out after seeing photos of others online 45 percent of girls are concerned about other people posting photos of them 28 percent of girls have edited photos of themselves before posting them Like Dickens’ famous line from A Tale of Two Cities, technology has created both both the best of times [...]

By Kathleen| 2014-05-07T20:11:55-05:00 May 7th, 2014|

Teen Girls and Sex: What’s the Big Deal?

I got an email the other day from a girl named Laurel and she wrote: Dear Kathleen, I am so glad there is someone like you inspiring so many girls out there! I've seen numerous social media posts recently about some girls losing their virginity veerrrry young. One of my friends recently wrote a post about what a big deal it is, and I totally agree. would you talk to us about sex and explain why we should wait till we're older? I've often wondered that myself Not that I'd want to lose my virginity young... But I think it comes into a lot of girls heads and we need someone to talk about the ongoing struggle about thoughts about sex. Why do we have to wait until we're married or until we really love someone? Why do we have to wait until we're older? How come it's such a [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:31:29-05:00 February 25th, 2014|

FYI Moms: #Molly is NOT Your Daughter’s New BFF!

As I was preparing for an upcoming talk on Parenting Teen Girls in a Digital World, I came across this statistic: 71% of teens say they hide their online activity from their parents (Sass, 2012). I would venture a guess that the number is probably much higher than this study shows. Yet, from what I've seen on Twitter and other social media sites, many teens don't seem to be hiding their posts about #Molly - often bragging about it. And in case you didn't know already, #Molly is not your daughter's new BFF or your son's girlfriend either. Molly is party drug that is sweeping the nation - the powder or crystal form of MDMA, the chemical used in Ecstasy, and has been a popular drug at music festivals this year, CNN reports. I had never even heard of this drug until recently, but now I see it popping up [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:41:53-05:00 September 13th, 2013|

Rape, Bullying and Another Victim of a Society Crumbling

My heart is so heavy and I am beyond sad today to learn about the tragic death of Rehtaeh Parsons. A 17 year old girl who was raped by 4 boys - who were never charged for this heinous crime. One of the boys took photos during the rape and distributed them and they went viral. Rehtaeh became the victim twice as her peers and so-called friends turned on her and labeled her a slut. She was mercilessly bullied until she couldn't take it any longer. As an advocate of teen girls and young women and as a mother of two sons, I am even more deeply committed to my work and outreach. The following is an excerpt from an interview with Rehteah's mother, Leah in the article Who Failed Rehteah Parsons? There are things to be learned from the girl’s death, Parsons said in the interview. That is why [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T12:56:44-05:00 April 10th, 2013|

Is it OK to Snoop on Your Child?

My friend and colleague, Robert Siciliano is an expert on Personal Security and is often called upon by the media to share his insights regarding Identity Theft and Credit Card fraud. But I just received an email from Robert announcing that tomorrow 2/2/09 he’ll be on the Tyra Banks Show to teach Moms how to successfully snoop on their teen daughters! Below is Robert’s announcement and I‘ll weigh in my comments after watching the show. I’ve highlighted the text that resonates with me and my gut reaction is that if you get to the point that you need to snoop, then you haven’t spent enough time developing your own inner trust muscles. As within, so it is without. In other words, what ever you’re seeing outside of yourself is a direct reflection of what is going on inside of you. “Monday 2/2 the Tyra Banks show “Mom Police” Featuring Robert [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T13:47:26-05:00 February 2nd, 2013|

Bullied Teen Commits Suicide: A Cry for Help Goes Unheard

In September, Amanda Todd posted a video to YouTube entitled My Story: Struggling, bullying, suicide and self harm. Her last words in the very last frame of the video said "I have nobody... I need someone." Five weeks later, Amanda was found dead in her home in Vancouver, Canada and the coroner's investigation reports that the 15-year-old took her own life. There are no words to convey how sad and tragic this is. Ironically, October is Anti-Bullying Month and just yesterday was proclaimed "International Day of the Girl -- a date on the annual calendar set aside to advocate for girls' rights" and CNN ran an article "To my 15-year-old self': Things I wish I'd known" with beautiful and inspirational messages from highly prominent women to their 15-year-old self, offering advice that they wished someone had said to them when they were only fifteen. Sadly, none of that advice was [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T13:55:40-05:00 October 12th, 2012|

Teens and Social Anxiety

Let’s face it, hardly anyone enjoys walking into a roomful of strangers and many of us would rather isolate than deal with the dreaded small talk. Yet, ironically all of us are longing for a deeper connection to others, to find “our people” - the ones who like us for who we are and who share similar interests. You might think today’s teens, who were born wired and woven into the fabric of social networking would have no problem making those connections. Yet hiding behind a computer screen or a phone is vastly different than walking into that room and many teens have lost the knack or have never even been taught the art of small talk and breaking the ice. Add to that the epidemic of bullying and the fear of others’ opinions or becoming a target of others’ negative attention and many teens today have become paralyzed with [...]

By Kathleen| 2017-03-07T13:57:37-05:00 August 16th, 2012|