Back to School Self-Esteem Check Up

New clothes… check. School supplies… check. New shoes… check. It’s that time again! Some kids are nervous, others are excited and just about every parent is ecstatic because it feels so good to get back to a schedule, have some alone time and above all know where your kids are, that they are safe and hopefully they are learning. Lots of preparation goes into gearing up for a new school year. Athletes are required to have a physical check up before playing any sports. But what about a self-esteem check up? How we feel about ourselves as we enter into any new situation will have a dramatic effect on whether we succeed or fail. So how does one go about this type of self-esteem check up? First we have to know what self-esteem is all about. There are two components that form a person’s self-esteem: competence and worthiness. Competence is developed by getting good at something through disciplined effort and practice. So if you’ve successfully made it through your previous school year, chances are you are on your way to developing the competence you’ll need to make it through this new school year. We develop competence by daring to take risks and trying new things which builds and strengthens our confidence muscles and as a result, we keep growing and getting better. The worthiness aspect of self-esteem is a little more difficult to explain and quantify because it is more of a deep sense of belief or knowing. There are so many factors that can contribute to a person’s sense of self-worth:

Parental influence – a warm, loving and nurturing environment helps to foster an individual’s sense of self-worth.
Culture & Economic Status – buying into cultural beliefs and determining your value and self-worth according to your bank account balance and your “place” in society.
Faith – a belief in a Higher Power; to be created in the image and likeness of the creator fosters a sense trust and worthiness, knowing that we are being guided and supported.
Resiliency & Stress Hardiness – some people just intuitively know how to bounce back and look for the lessons learned from every situation. They foster an inner knowing that things always have a way of working out.
Self-talk – the way we talk to ourselves has a dramatic effect on our self-esteem and self-worth.

Take Action Challenge: Here are 5 Steps you can take to do your own Self-Esteem Check Up to ensure a very successful school year.

Take stock of where you are right now. Awareness is the very first step to create change in your life. If you don’t know where you’re starting from, how can you get to where you want to go? On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your self-esteem now.

Ask yourself the following questions:
- Have I been successful in previous years at school?
  - If yes: what did I do to make it a good year?
  - If no: what will I need to do differently this year to make it a great year?
- Do I blame my parents and others for my sense of self-worth?
- Do I believe that money and status makes a person better than others?
- Do I bounce back quickly from set-backs?
- How do I talk to myself – in kind, loving supportive ways or in harsh, critical and judgmental ways?
Take responsibility for your own happiness and well-being. Make a proclamation and say “Today I am officially letting everyone off the hook for my own happiness. From this moment on, I am the one responsible for becoming all that I was born to be.”
Let go of the blame game and be willing to forgive anyone who hasn’t lived up to your expectations. Expectations lead to resentments and resentments only wind up hurting ourselves. It’s like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die, or like my colleague Jeff Yalden says, “Holding on to anger and resentment is like wetting your pants. You’re the only one who feels it, but everyone else can see it!”
Spend more time working on your insides than you do on your outsides with the following three tools:Visualization: Schedule some quiet time to picture in your mind how you want this school year to go. Paint the future in advance by seeing yourself succeed. Play “make believe” – just like you did when you were a little kid. Most people say “I’ll believe it when I see it.” But the opposite is actually true, you’ll see it “the results” when you believe it. And you do that by putting new beliefs into your mind through creative visualization. Affirmations: Our thoughts become our reality – wanted or not. So start saying positive things to yourself and watch your life change for the better. Talk to yourself in a supportive way saying things like “I know this is going to be a great year” or “I have what it takes to succeed this year.” We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves – so start treating yourself the way you wish others would treat you. Meditation: prayer is when you ask your higher power for what you want, but meditation is when you listen for your answers. Spend some time being quiet and you will develop your own intuitive guidance system that will lead you in the direction of your dreams.