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I Got My Daughter Back!

“I got my daughter back!” Those are the very words I heard this week from a client who hired me to coach her daughter that had lost her way and was in crisis. Nothing brings me more joy than to see a girl begin to really understand her own worth and power while helping both the mother and daughter learn how to communicate more effectively while creating a relationship based on trust and mutual respect. I can’t think of a more perfect Mother’s Day gift than this. Today I am honoring and celebrating this most sacred relationship and over the next few months will be sharing some of the strategies I used to coach this amazing turnaround. Just two months ago, I received an email from a distraught mother, begging for help. Her fifteen year old daughter had been sneaking out of the house and getting into all kinds of [...]

By | 2017-03-07T11:48:29-05:00 May 8th, 2016|

Perfectly Imperfect: Five Ways to Kick Perfectionism to the Curb

Have you ever felt like you just weren’t good enough? Most of us have felt that way at one time or another. But for many teen girls, this feeling is a chronic ache and is being perpetuated by a culture that celebrates the illusion of perfection. Beyoncé sings, "perfection is a disease of a nation" and tells us pretty hurts, yet how many girls are killing themselves to be just like her? Red carpet glamor and excessive photoshopping makes girls, and women alike, strive to be perfect and contributes to the ingrained belief that we are not good enough - just the way we are. This past spring I spoke at the Marin County Teen Girl Conference. Thirty teen girl ambassadors were planning the conference, selecting the speakers and choosing the topics. They polled girls in their schools and the #1 requested topic was how to deal with the stress of [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:17:22-05:00 October 13th, 2014|

Go Ahead. Make My Day! The Power of Compliments

Yesterday I was running into Whole Foods to get a Green Dream (sounds so much better than kale smoothie) and noticed a young woman in the parking lot wearing this awesome purple dress and really cool purple shoes. Without a moment's hesitation I said to her, "Girl... you are totally rocking that purple outfit today!" The guy she was with said, "I'm so glad you said that!" I was thinking that probably he had already told her the same thing and she didn't believe him, so I asked, "Why are you so glad I said that?" He went on to explain that she had, just moments earlier, commented to him how much she liked another woman's cardigan sweater and the boyfriend had said to her, "Well, why don't you tell her that?" But she told him she'd feel silly and that the other woman would probably think she was weird [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:19:43-05:00 October 8th, 2014|

Raising Teen Girls in a Social Media World

Social media is everywhere and a huge part of how teens communicate. By the time you finish reading this article, how likely are you to have received a text from your teen? A 2012 Common Sense Media study found that 75 percent of teens have a profile on a social networking site like Facebook; 68 percent text every day and 23 percent use at least two types of social media every day. Those are some pretty significant statistics. But just because it’s common, doesn’t mean it’s good. The same study found that: 57 percent of girls sometimes feel left out after seeing photos of others online 45 percent of girls are concerned about other people posting photos of them 28 percent of girls have edited photos of themselves before posting them Like Dickens’ famous line from A Tale of Two Cities, technology has created both both the best of times [...]

By | 2014-05-07T20:11:55-05:00 May 7th, 2014|

Bullied: A Tale of Two Girls

    There has never been a better time to be a girl... opportunities abound. Yet, there has also never been a worse time to be a girl as so many young women suffer from the pressure to be perfect and are forever attacking themselves and each other in their pursuit of such unrealistic standards. In this video, I share a story about two girls, both being bullied. Two very different choices and two vastly opposite outcomes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF9W4I57QfE How to Take Back Your Power Make a decision... that no one has the power to make you feel like you're not good enough. Practice The Ruby Rule: Others will treat you the way you treat yourself. Start a self-love revolution and focus on everything positive about yourself that makes you YOU! Like attracts like, therefore self-love will bring you more and more love. Tell someone... if you're being bullied, threatened [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:28:26-05:00 April 8th, 2014|

Teen Girls and Sex: What’s the Big Deal?

I got an email the other day from a girl named Laurel and she wrote: Dear Kathleen, I am so glad there is someone like you inspiring so many girls out there! I've seen numerous social media posts recently about some girls losing their virginity veerrrry young. One of my friends recently wrote a post about what a big deal it is, and I totally agree. would you talk to us about sex and explain why we should wait till we're older? I've often wondered that myself Not that I'd want to lose my virginity young... But I think it comes into a lot of girls heads and we need someone to talk about the ongoing struggle about thoughts about sex. Why do we have to wait until we're married or until we really love someone? Why do we have to wait until we're older? How come it's such a [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:31:29-05:00 February 25th, 2014|

I’m Not Much – But I’m All I Think About: The Selfie Phenomenon

There's a war going on and the battlefield is in our own mind. We are in a perpetual state of conflict. Paradoxically, like an ego maniac with an inferiority complex... We desperately want to be loved and yet we hate ourselves. We suffer from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and yet we isolate. We want to be treated with respect and tolerance and yet we criticize and judge others. And I say "we" because I feel and act that way sometimes too. (and don't even think about denying the fact that you do too!!) All of these conflicted thoughts, feelings and actions - actions that completely contradict what we say we want - are amplified and magnified through social media. The "Selfie" Phenomenon Currently, the hashtag #selfie yields more than 31 million hits on Instagram. The Oxford English Dictionary named selfie Word of the Year and defines it as "a [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:37:38-05:00 December 17th, 2013|

Ask Kat: I Broke Up With a Guy – So Why I Am I So Sad?

Just got this great question from a girl named Nikki and figured I’d share my response to her with other girls who may have been wondering the same thing. I broke up with my bf and I thought I would feel relieved bc I lost my romantic emotions for him, but instead I'm the one bawling my eyes out. It just sucks because I do care about him, he just wasn't “the one” and I feel empty and sad. I feel like I should feel so relieved. Is it normal to feel sad even if I’m the one who left him? Dear Nikki - Of course it’s normal - you're mourning a loss. Even when you make a choice that supports your best and highest good... that doesn't mean that there isn't a time of grieving. Not so much mourning the loss of him... but mourning the loss of what you [...]

By | 2013-11-19T21:22:57-05:00 November 19th, 2013|

Boobs, Jugs, Hooters & Tits: The Quest for the Perfect Breasts

This past weekend, I was in South Beach, Miami attending Mama Gena’s Worldwide Sister Goddess Weekend. I felt like I was magnetically pulled there. I somehow found myself on Mama Gena’s website back in July and saw the blurb about the weekend. I clicked the link and signed up without a moment’s hesitation - not knowing really anything about it nor anyone who would be there. I drove across Florida with butterflies in my stomach, feeling this intense resistance going on inside of me - knowing that I had been divinely called here and feeling so much fear at the exact same time. I have never experienced anything like it before in my life. Hundreds of bold, sexy, adventurous, outrageous women all committed to living a life unleashed and out loud. These chicks - young and old, tall and short, thin and chubby - every one of them totally owned [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:40:59-05:00 November 15th, 2013|
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