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Raising Teen Girls in a Social Media World

Social media is everywhere and a huge part of how teens communicate. By the time you finish reading this article, how likely are you to have received a text from your teen? A 2012 Common Sense Media study found that 75 percent of teens have a profile on a social networking site like Facebook; 68 percent text every day and 23 percent use at least two types of social media every day. Those are some pretty significant statistics. But just because it’s common, doesn’t mean it’s good. The same study found that: 57 percent of girls sometimes feel left out after seeing photos of others online 45 percent of girls are concerned about other people posting photos of them 28 percent of girls have edited photos of themselves before posting them Like Dickens’ famous line from A Tale of Two Cities, technology has created both both the best of times [...]

By | 2014-05-07T20:11:55-05:00 May 7th, 2014|

Say YES to What’s Next

This morning I sat at Starbucks, sipping my soy latte with pen and journal in hand, (ironically, at that very moment I was writing about the desires of my soul vs. the demands of my ego,) when I glanced up and saw this message on the window: Say YES to what's next! It was the perfect writing prompt and got me thinking about the things that I want to conjure and manifest into my life from a place of pure desire rather than ego that only wants from a sense of lack and unworthiness. The very first thing I said "YES!" to was being open to receive... and with the pump primed, the pen started moving across the page, as if of its own volition and I could barely keep up with my own full-on voracious appetite for everything I desire. We're often taught that we shouldn't be too greedy [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:26:12-05:00 May 3rd, 2014|

Bullied: A Tale of Two Girls

    There has never been a better time to be a girl... opportunities abound. Yet, there has also never been a worse time to be a girl as so many young women suffer from the pressure to be perfect and are forever attacking themselves and each other in their pursuit of such unrealistic standards. In this video, I share a story about two girls, both being bullied. Two very different choices and two vastly opposite outcomes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF9W4I57QfE How to Take Back Your Power Make a decision... that no one has the power to make you feel like you're not good enough. Practice The Ruby Rule: Others will treat you the way you treat yourself. Start a self-love revolution and focus on everything positive about yourself that makes you YOU! Like attracts like, therefore self-love will bring you more and more love. Tell someone... if you're being bullied, threatened [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:28:26-05:00 April 8th, 2014|

ready… set… WAIT??!! Lessons learned from laying low and watching the world go on without me

Happy Belated New Year! While the rest of the world was celebrating, making resolutions and launching themselves full steam ahead into 2014, I was sick in bed with a chest cold and an injured back. It was a painful 1-2 punch combo in that every time I coughed, my back would go into spasm! Not fun. And it lingered on and on for nearly three weeks. But it was interesting to observe this annual, fresh-start, resolution-making-ritual play out before me and see it from such a different perspective of being unable to participate. My Facebook feed was taunting me with inspirational, starting-anew-quotes and partying pics of friends and family ringing in the New Year. In that moment I had a choice - I could whine, lament and push against it - or - I could let go and accept it as simply my time to just be. (My husband would [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:32:38-05:00 January 24th, 2014|

I’m Not Much – But I’m All I Think About: The Selfie Phenomenon

There's a war going on and the battlefield is in our own mind. We are in a perpetual state of conflict. Paradoxically, like an ego maniac with an inferiority complex... We desperately want to be loved and yet we hate ourselves. We suffer from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and yet we isolate. We want to be treated with respect and tolerance and yet we criticize and judge others. And I say "we" because I feel and act that way sometimes too. (and don't even think about denying the fact that you do too!!) All of these conflicted thoughts, feelings and actions - actions that completely contradict what we say we want - are amplified and magnified through social media. The "Selfie" Phenomenon Currently, the hashtag #selfie yields more than 31 million hits on Instagram. The Oxford English Dictionary named selfie Word of the Year and defines it as "a [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:37:38-05:00 December 17th, 2013|

my epic fail… and grateful for it all

I would not be able to do the work that I love, the work that I was put here to do... without YOU! I can say that today, fully understanding this connection and the value of having you in my life. But I didn’t always act that way. Let me explain. Several years ago, I hit a wall. My life and my work took a little detour. It was a significant time and it was necessary to pull back in order to recover and heal. But this, in and of itself was not my epic fail. No one goes through life unscathed and everyone at one time or another faces some obstacles on their path. No, my epic fail was believing that I had to be perfect and that I couldn’t share what was going on with me until I had put it all back together again, wrapped up in [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:39:02-05:00 November 26th, 2013|

Ask Kat: I Broke Up With a Guy – So Why I Am I So Sad?

Just got this great question from a girl named Nikki and figured I’d share my response to her with other girls who may have been wondering the same thing. I broke up with my bf and I thought I would feel relieved bc I lost my romantic emotions for him, but instead I'm the one bawling my eyes out. It just sucks because I do care about him, he just wasn't “the one” and I feel empty and sad. I feel like I should feel so relieved. Is it normal to feel sad even if I’m the one who left him? Dear Nikki - Of course it’s normal - you're mourning a loss. Even when you make a choice that supports your best and highest good... that doesn't mean that there isn't a time of grieving. Not so much mourning the loss of him... but mourning the loss of what you [...]

By | 2013-11-19T21:22:57-05:00 November 19th, 2013|

Boobs, Jugs, Hooters & Tits: The Quest for the Perfect Breasts

This past weekend, I was in South Beach, Miami attending Mama Gena’s Worldwide Sister Goddess Weekend. I felt like I was magnetically pulled there. I somehow found myself on Mama Gena’s website back in July and saw the blurb about the weekend. I clicked the link and signed up without a moment’s hesitation - not knowing really anything about it nor anyone who would be there. I drove across Florida with butterflies in my stomach, feeling this intense resistance going on inside of me - knowing that I had been divinely called here and feeling so much fear at the exact same time. I have never experienced anything like it before in my life. Hundreds of bold, sexy, adventurous, outrageous women all committed to living a life unleashed and out loud. These chicks - young and old, tall and short, thin and chubby - every one of them totally owned [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:40:59-05:00 November 15th, 2013|

Taking the Bite Out of “The Bitch”

What comes to mind when you hear the word “bitch?” The “b word” has so much negative connotation to it and our fear of being labeled as such often keeps us toeing the line and squashing our thoughts, voices and opinions. Last night I was working with a client who is a 2nd grade teacher and currently has a student teacher in her classroom. My client was describing all the ways that this neophyte was not performing up to expectations or the standards that she has set for herself and her classroom. But rather than being strong and assertive, she had slipped into a more passive-aggressive role and was allowing the performance of this student teacher to totally affect the mood and energy of the classroom. When I asked what was the block that was preventing her from being direct and laying it on the line for this young woman, [...]

By | 2013-10-30T18:45:17-05:00 October 30th, 2013|

FYI Moms: #Molly is NOT Your Daughter’s New BFF!

As I was preparing for an upcoming talk on Parenting Teen Girls in a Digital World, I came across this statistic: 71% of teens say they hide their online activity from their parents (Sass, 2012). I would venture a guess that the number is probably much higher than this study shows. Yet, from what I've seen on Twitter and other social media sites, many teens don't seem to be hiding their posts about #Molly - often bragging about it. And in case you didn't know already, #Molly is not your daughter's new BFF or your son's girlfriend either. Molly is party drug that is sweeping the nation - the powder or crystal form of MDMA, the chemical used in Ecstasy, and has been a popular drug at music festivals this year, CNN reports. I had never even heard of this drug until recently, but now I see it popping up [...]

By | 2017-03-07T12:41:53-05:00 September 13th, 2013|
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